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Born with a Smirk
Invenimus viam aut faciemus
Created on 2005-10-31 02:51:35 (#8676172), last updated 2009-12-18
205 comments received, 173 comments posted
Plus Account [Gift]
210 Journal Entries, 34 Tags, 3 Memories, 200+ ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 14 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | bluezoe4 |
|---|---|
| Location: | Baguio, Philippines |
BioBeing can be seen in many ways.
A tree. A thought. And the gloom starts on me, as it always does. Never has a night been so cold and lonely; so devoid of meaning. And yet: I remember. I remember warm touches, soft caresses, pouting lips, lights, sounds--- memories. Of what? Of despair. Naturally. Ah, the color blue. Its hues, its views, its touch on the night sky. Dusk. Memories, yes. Blue memories—of despair, of calling, of wanting, of rambling. As if touching, and wanting to touch, my memories touch me. What of despair? A whole list. And a vivid feeling of listlessness. I search the words in my mind and I get lost. I search the words in the things that surround me, then I get lost all the more. But where? In my thoughts or in my words? Then I realize I am nowhere to be found for I have not lost the words in my thoughts nor in my words, but I have lost myself. And again, despair ensues.
A blue night.
A bleak night.
Fingertips frozen having lost oneself. The taste of existence. The emptying of thought has never been this hard. It is like trying to remember what it was like to first experience consciousness. When one goes back to the very first thoughts one realizes that we didn’t have words to start with. And the process keeps on going backwards. Just as you thought that you would stumble into something that has founded you and what you know, you realize that there wasn’t anything there at all.
And then you stop: not knowing where you’re going is the most fearsome of all fears. Then you realize that you are alone. Then you stop and float. Then you stay—--afloat. Dreaming of a ground; no, looking for a ground makes one more ungrounded to start with. One tries to bounce back to make sense of it all and you begin to ramble—for the path of understanding and knowing is only a path to a ground and the ground has been an un-grounding.
http://pics.livejournal.com/bluezoe4/
A tree. A thought. And the gloom starts on me, as it always does. Never has a night been so cold and lonely; so devoid of meaning. And yet: I remember. I remember warm touches, soft caresses, pouting lips, lights, sounds--- memories. Of what? Of despair. Naturally. Ah, the color blue. Its hues, its views, its touch on the night sky. Dusk. Memories, yes. Blue memories—of despair, of calling, of wanting, of rambling. As if touching, and wanting to touch, my memories touch me. What of despair? A whole list. And a vivid feeling of listlessness. I search the words in my mind and I get lost. I search the words in the things that surround me, then I get lost all the more. But where? In my thoughts or in my words? Then I realize I am nowhere to be found for I have not lost the words in my thoughts nor in my words, but I have lost myself. And again, despair ensues.
A blue night.
A bleak night.
Fingertips frozen having lost oneself. The taste of existence. The emptying of thought has never been this hard. It is like trying to remember what it was like to first experience consciousness. When one goes back to the very first thoughts one realizes that we didn’t have words to start with. And the process keeps on going backwards. Just as you thought that you would stumble into something that has founded you and what you know, you realize that there wasn’t anything there at all.
And then you stop: not knowing where you’re going is the most fearsome of all fears. Then you realize that you are alone. Then you stop and float. Then you stay—--afloat. Dreaming of a ground; no, looking for a ground makes one more ungrounded to start with. One tries to bounce back to make sense of it all and you begin to ramble—for the path of understanding and knowing is only a path to a ground and the ground has been an un-grounding.
http://pics.livejournal.com/bluezoe4/
ConnectInterests (64):
alternative, aquinas, aristotle, augustine, beer, books, camping, camus, classic rock, clive barker, clubbing, coffee, cognac, commodores, criminal minds, dante alighieri, descartes, dostoevsky, dreams, dvds, education, emo, epictetus, ethics, faith, freedom, full moons, gin, greenday, grey's anatomy, hegel, heidegger, hiking, history, husserl, indie movies, jamie cullum, jazz, jean-luc marion, jean-luc nancy, kafka, lattes, law and order: svu, literary criticism, loyalty, marlboro reds, morality, mp3s, neil gaiman, new moons, nietszche, oldies, piano, plato, politics, reading, reading philosophy, rizal, trekking, umberto eco, walking, writing philosophy, writing poetry, writing prose
External Services:
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 | bluezoe4 | |
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Schools:
St. Louis University - Baguio City, Benguet, Philippines (2000 - 2004)
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